Time has literally disappeared. 1 day turns into a week, a week into a month and eventually half a year has gone in a flash. After managing to squeeze 9 months off for maternity, I have got my head around working again – just hoping baby brain won’t get the better of me and I can still string a sentence together.
I’ll admit, it was tussle of head over heart to come back to work. Kind of a love-love situation. I love my job, my business and the work I do, but I was also loving being off work with bub.
That mummy-guilt is a bitch and the pressure to be a supermum is ridiculous (but real).
So instead, I delayed returning to work as long as I could, dabbling on social media after his bedtime and praying my peeps will stick around.
Naively, before bub arrived, I had plans to work while bub sleeps (I feel stupid now that I even had that thought!) and effortlessly juggle a business, a husband and my life, with motherhood! Clearly the thinking of a first time mum! Figuring it all out and trying to be the best mum I can be has been exhausting, mentally and physically. Learning to balance the key components of my life has been a challenge and made me really discover what is most important to me.
As every mum will attest, your life changes overnight the minute bub arrives. And I was not prepared. For any of it!
Your purpose, drive, desires, motivation. Your dreams, goals, vision, philosophy. It changes, adapts, adjusts. All because of the amazing gift of motherhood. But it does not come without hustle. It feels like everything and everyone is jostling for a place in your life, and you never have the time (or energy) for it all.
When it seems like there is no end in sight, remember “This too shall pass”
And thankfully, it does.
I am still learning, weaving my way through the constantly changing maze of motherhood, accepting the remodeling of my body, adjusting to the changes in my relationships, slowly redefining my identity as I find the new me amongst my new normal.
And I wouldn’t change it for the world.